“He was.” She went quiet. “It’s lonely, you know, when you lose the person who still remembers your stories. The person who was there.” She turned to look at me directly. “Who’s in your corner these days, Ariel?”
I stared at the street for a moment. Watched a car turn the far corner and disappear. “Nobody,” I said finally. “Not anymore. My ex left when I told him I was keeping her. And then I got that call this morning.” I stopped. “Foreclosure. I don’t really know what comes next.”
She didn’t offer a solution. She didn’t say it would work out or that things happen for a reason or any of the other things people say when they don’t know what else to do. She just looked at me with those careful, searching eyes and said, “You’ve been doing all of this by yourself.”
“Looks that way.” I tried to keep my voice easy. “I’m stubborn, I guess.”
“Stubborn is just another word for strong,” she said. “But even strong women need a break sometimes.”
The second half of the lawn took forever. My body had filed a formal complaint by about the third row and didn’t stop registering objections. But I finished it. I pushed the mower back to where it had started, turned it off, and stood there in the sudden quiet with sweat running down my back and my vision doing that blurring thing at the edges again.
Mrs. Higgins came and took both my hands in hers. Her grip was firmer than you’d expect. “You’re a good girl, Ariel,” she said. She held my gaze with an intensity that surprised me, like she was pressing something into me she needed to make sure I kept. “Don’t let this world take that from you.”
I made a joke about the world needing to take a number. She laughed and told me to get some rest.
I walked home through the heat, grateful for the shade my own porch finally offered.
That night I lay on my back with my hand on my belly and stared at the cracks in the ceiling. I thought about the foreclosure notice. I thought about the mortgage, the bills, the shrinking account balance, the small collection of fears I had been cataloging for months and adding to daily. But underneath all of it, just barely, I felt something different. Lighter, somehow. Like a window had been opened in a room that had been shut up too long.
I fell asleep before I could figure out what it was.
The siren woke me before sunrise.
Blue and red light cut through my blinds and painted the bedroom walls in stripes of panic. I sat up too fast, heart already slamming, mind cycling through every possible explanation. Lee, causing some kind of trouble. The bank, though banks don’t send patrol cars. Some catastrophe on the street that was going to somehow make everything worse.
I pulled on the first cardigan I found and stepped outside into the early morning dark.
There were two patrol cars and a sheriff’s SUV at odd angles in the street. Neighbors stood in clusters on their lawns in pajamas and robes, faces tight with the particular expression people get when something has gone wrong right next door. I stood on my porch and wrapped my arms around myself and tried to look steadier than I felt.
