That, in and of itself, shouldn’t have alarmed me. Dads go to dentist appointments. Husbands offer support. Normal men do normal things. But Daniel had never cared about dentist appointments. He went years without a cleaning and once told me, laughing, that if he could pull a tooth out himself with pliers and avoid a waiting room, he would.
Now, suddenly, I wanted to go.
“It’s just a checkup,” I said.
He smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Exactly. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be there.”
I told myself not to jump to conclusions.
For years I’d been telling myself not to jump to conclusions.
Not to think too much about the way Lily stiffened whenever Daniel walked into a room unexpectedly. Not to think too much about how she’d stopped asking him for help with homework. Not to think too much about the fact that she’d started locking the bathroom door completely, every time, even if it was just to brush her teeth. I had explanations for everything, because explanations are easier than terror.
Adjustment.
Mood swings.
Preteen quirks.
Family stress.
We’d only been married two years. Daniel wasn’t Lily’s father. Her father had died when she was six, and by the time Daniel came into our lives, I’d been alone long enough to mistake patience for security. He was polite. Helpful. Attentive in public. The kind of man who remembered teachers’ names and fixed loose cabinet doors before he was even asked.
That image remained intact for a long time.
On Saturday morning at the dental office, the waiting room smelled of peppermint polish and old magazines. Lily sat next to me, flipping through a children’s puzzle book, while Daniel stood by the fish tank with his hands in his pockets, watching too much.
Our dentist, Dr. Harris, had treated Lily since kindergarten. He was probably in his fifties, kind, calm, and so familiar that my daughter usually relaxed as soon as she saw him.
This time, she didn’t.
When the hygienist called her name, Lily looked at me first.
Then she looked at Daniel.
Then he looked back at me.
“I’ll go with you,” I said.
Daniel answered before I could move.
“Let’s both go.” The office was brightly lit and too cold. Lily climbed into the chair, and Dr. Harris asked her his usual questions in his usual calm voice. How long had the pain been going on? Did heat or cold bother her? Did it hurt when she chewed? Lily answered quietly. Daniel stayed by the counter, too close for someone who said he was only there to support her…
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