“Please don’t say I look like him,” I interrupted.
She nodded and sat down.
For several seconds, none of us spoke.
Finally, I asked, “Why did you ruin my graduation?”
Tears filled her eyes.
“I panicked. Ethan said he was going to tell you, but I thought he might change his mind.”
“He raised me for eighteen years. You disappeared for eighteen years. Why did you think you had the right to decide when I heard the truth?”
“I didn’t.”
Her answer surprised me.
She didn’t defend herself.
She admitted that she had arrived expecting a dramatic reunion. She had imagined that I would hear the secret, become angry with Dad, and turn to her for answers.
“I wanted one moment when you needed me,” she said. “Even if I had to create it. That was selfish.”
“Yes, it was.”
“I know.”
She told me she had left Adrian after four years. Their life together had not become the glamorous future he promised. By the time he regretted giving me up, she was too ashamed to admit where I was.
She had started writing letters to me when I was seven.
She never sent them.
“Why not?”
“Because every year I waited made returning harder. Eventually, I convinced myself you were better without me.”
“I was,” I said.
Dad shifted beside me, but he didn’t interrupt.
Rachel lowered her head.
“You’re right.”
I expected that answer to make me feel victorious.
It didn’t.
It only made me sad.
She pushed a small box across the table. Inside were eighteen sealed birthday cards—one for every year of my life.
“I’m not asking you to call me Mom,” she said. “I’m not asking you to trust me. I only want the chance to become someone who no longer runs away.”
I looked at Dad.
He gave me a slight nod, not telling me what to do, only reminding me that the decision belonged to me.
“I’m not ready to forgive you,” I said.
“I understand.”
“And you can’t appear at my college or my house without permission.”
“I won’t.”
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