“Where else? Steve’s coming. Alice too, obviously.”
Obviously.
“Carl, I’m exhausted. Onica isn’t sleeping through the night. Bradley…”
“Nina. It’s my 40th!”
I looked at him.
The fresh haircut.
The phone always lying face down.
The man who once brought me flowers for no reason.
“Fine,” I said. “We’ll have a party.”
Quietly, standing there in my stained shirt, I made one decision.
Whatever it took, I was walking out to that pool looking like the woman I remembered.
Four o’clock arrived much too soon that Saturday.
I stood in the kitchen icing cupcakes with one hand while warming a bottle with the other.
Onica slept in her bouncer beside me.
Carl was still upstairs.
By nine, I’d hung patio lights, inflated a palm tree, dressed Bradley in tiny swim trunks, and taped a Happy 40th banner across the fence.
Carl finally wandered downstairs nearly an hour later, yawning.
“Wow, the place looks decent,” he said. “You didn’t overdo the cheesy stuff, right?”
“Just the right amount of cheesy,” I replied.
Guests began arriving around noon.
Steve carried in a cooler.
Alice followed with an enormous fruit platter.
The moment she saw me, she wrapped me in a hug.
“Nina, sit down. I mean it,” she whispered. “Let me hold Onica. Go eat something that isn’t a Goldfish cracker.”
I couldn’t help smiling.
“You sure?”
“Give me that baby.”
She had Onica in her arms before I finished asking.
For the first time all day, I managed to eat an actual deviled egg while standing in peace.
Around two, I finally slipped upstairs, pulled out the only swimsuit that still fit, and stood staring at myself in the mirror.
I reminded myself I’d grown two children.
That was enough.
Head held high, I walked back outside toward the pool.
The moment I stepped onto the patio…
everything changed.
Everyone who could swim was already in the pool.
Steve stood in the shallow end beside Carl, holding a beer he hadn’t even started. Alice relaxed on a lounger with Onica asleep against her chest.
I walked a little closer.
Then Carl burst into loud laughter.
Steve laughed too—until he caught sight of my face. His smile vanished, and he suddenly looked like he wanted to disappear.
I stopped where I was.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
Carl wiped tears from his eyes.
“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t help it! Alice was just swimming, and, I mean, come on. She clearly looks more attractive in a swimsuit than you do.”
The entire patio fell silent.
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