“Mark, I took the kids on the vacation I wanted. The one you never wanted.”
“I came back and the room was locked. They said you checked out three days ago. Where are you?”
“Somewhere beautiful.”
He became quiet.
“When are you coming home?”
“On the day we originally planned.”
I paused.
“And when we get home, we need to have a serious conversation about our marriage.”
He started crying harder.
“Are you leaving me?”
“I don’t know.”
And for once, that was the complete truth.
“But I know I can’t keep being the person who spends her life making sure everybody else is okay while nobody asks whether I am.”
“Sarah, I didn’t realize. I thought you were okay. You’re always okay.”
“I know you thought that.”
I looked toward the water.
“That’s exactly the problem.”
His voice became quieter.
“I’ll do better. Tell me what you need.”
“I need you to sit with that question for a few days, Mark. Actually think about it.”
Then I hung up.
Behind me, Darlene was calling for help with her sandcastle while Max and Cynthia argued over which shells qualified as treasure.
I walked toward them barefoot, warm sand between my toes.
For the first time in years, I didn’t feel like I was watching my own life happen from far away.
On the flight home, Max rested his head against my shoulder.
“Can we come back next year?”
“Maybe.”
I kissed his hair.
“But wherever we go, I promise it’ll be somewhere Mommy wants to go too.”
I still didn’t know what would happen to my marriage.
But I finally knew something about myself.
When we landed, Mark was waiting near baggage claim.
His eyes were red.
He quietly began gathering our suitcases.
Then he looked at me and said something I had never heard from him before.
“I think I finally understand what you need, Sarah.”
For once, I didn’t answer for him.
I simply let him carry the luggage.
