3 names in a line.
She tilted the frame to read them.
Benjamin. Simon. Victoria.
She went very still.
She looked at the photograph through the clean glass. The girl on the right was slightly turned, laughing, hair loosely tied.
Rebecca looked at that face and the world became very, very quiet.
She had grown up looking at her mother’s face. She had a photograph of her own, smaller and different, her mother older in it than this, but the face was the same face: the eyes, the cheekbones, the way the smile reached all the way up.
Victoria.
Her mother’s name, written in pencil on the back of a photograph hanging on the wall of the house where she worked.
Her mother, young and laughing and alive, standing between 2 boys, 1 of whom was called Simon, and the other, the one in the middle, straight-backed, self-contained, even then.
She looked at the boy in the middle. She looked at his jaw, his eyes, the way he stood.
She looked up at the room around her: the desk, the bookshelves, the chair, the house she had come to know over the past 3 weeks. The man she saw every morning. The man whose face she had looked at in that black-framed photograph on the wall and felt that pull she could not explain.
The man named Caleb, whose first name she had never thought to ask, whose first name Grace had mentioned to her exactly once months ago in the easy way people mention things that seem unimportant.
“Oh, his name is Simon. Simon Caleb. But everyone calls him Mr. Caleb.”
She had not remembered it until that moment.
Simon.
She looked at the photograph in her hands.
Benjamin. Simon. Victoria.
Her mother.
Her mother’s name, right there in this house, on this wall, inside this frame that she had dusted and replaced and never truly looked at until now.
She put the photograph back on the wall very carefully. She made sure it was level. She made sure it was exactly where it had been.
She picked up her cleaning things.
She walked out of the study and down the hallway to the kitchen and stood at the sink and turned on the cold tap and held her wrists under the running water for a moment, the way she sometimes did when she needed to feel something simple and real.
The water was cold. The tap was real. The kitchen was real. And the photograph on the wall down the hall was real.
She turned off the tap. She dried her hands. She looked out the window at the overcast sky.
Somewhere upstairs, she could hear Mr. Caleb’s footsteps moving slowly back and forth.
She finished her work that day the way a person finishes something when their hands know what to do but their mind is somewhere else entirely. She swept. She mopped. She prepared lunch and set it on the table at 1:00 and said, “Lunch is ready, sir,” through the study door in a voice that sounded, even to her own ears, remarkably normal. She washed the lunch dishes. She wiped down the counters.
And all the while, underneath all of it, the same thing kept turning over and over in her mind like a stone in water.
